sangat sangat busy!
my lunch today was 3 sticks of choki choki eaten at my desk while crunching out refinery economics numbers huhu
so pathetic right!
on top of that, i miss my jogging partner aka one of BFF :(
she (the lucky woman!) is on holiday in Cape Town, SA and will be offshore for the next five weeks!!!! just in time of my birthday! she better bring me back something shiny and pretty for my birthday :p
so...
i dont have time for my daily jog at the Kiara Park..
i havent eaten a decent lunch in a proper restaurant or even at home in weeks....
i am double hatting 2.5 roles at the same time which means as of today my inbox mail is equal to 2043 unread emails...
my request to take just one freaking day off have been rejected 5 times!!! while other peeps happily take a week off!!argghhhh!!!!
i need a long break.................................................
preferably somewhere cold.
:(
sekian dan terima kasih kerana sudi membaca tentang kehidupan saya yang sangat sedih ini.
ps : the 30 day blog challenge will have to be postponed until further notice!
Showing posts with label rat race. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rat race. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Monday, March 07, 2011
bagaholic anonymous
hi, my name is nique and im a bagaholic.
every woman has their vices and mine, mine is handbags..
i cant help it!
i love the smell of a brand new handbag with their lovely dustbag and crisp packaging and chic paperbag, and using it for the first time proudly just makes you feel like everything is going to be alright in this world and nothing can bring you down...sigh...
and so with that, which one do you think i should get to be purchased from the "bonus" i got for being "uninitiative" and "lack ownership" despite the 12 hours per day 25 days per month i put it in this "amazing" and "fantastic" company?
this one?
or this one?
both are so lovely right? i know, i cant choose either huhu
i might just get them both, haha!
note to mr bf : ye2 i know, save save save :p
every woman has their vices and mine, mine is handbags..
i cant help it!
i love the smell of a brand new handbag with their lovely dustbag and crisp packaging and chic paperbag, and using it for the first time proudly just makes you feel like everything is going to be alright in this world and nothing can bring you down...sigh...
and so with that, which one do you think i should get to be purchased from the "bonus" i got for being "uninitiative" and "lack ownership" despite the 12 hours per day 25 days per month i put it in this "amazing" and "fantastic" company?
this one?
or this one?
both are so lovely right? i know, i cant choose either huhui might just get them both, haha!
note to mr bf : ye2 i know, save save save :p
Friday, February 18, 2011
fine, i will play this game your way
as expected, my end of year review was pretty bad.
in fact, it was lower than bad, it was downright insulting actually.
i was actually laughing when my boss told me my score, because to me it was just so plain nonsense. he was, i think, a bit offended that i did not burst into tears or at least show some mortification or some humility in my horribly bad score.
instead i was amused.
i knew i was getting a bad one mainly because of an incident which i actually i blogged about but which i deleted cos i know some peeps from the office reads my blog.
so anyway, im actually pretty cool with the low scores.
i know for a fact that i have done all i can.
but if they wanna make it a political and a personal game, then fine, bring it on.
in fact, it was lower than bad, it was downright insulting actually.
i was actually laughing when my boss told me my score, because to me it was just so plain nonsense. he was, i think, a bit offended that i did not burst into tears or at least show some mortification or some humility in my horribly bad score.
instead i was amused.
i knew i was getting a bad one mainly because of an incident which i actually i blogged about but which i deleted cos i know some peeps from the office reads my blog.
so anyway, im actually pretty cool with the low scores.
i know for a fact that i have done all i can.
but if they wanna make it a political and a personal game, then fine, bring it on.
Friday, February 11, 2011
screwed
in preparation of the kpi discussion with my boss next week, i sat down today and listed down all the projects ive been assigned to this year.
and i calculated the hours it will take me for each single project.
i then listed down my every day/monthly responsibilities and kpi that are actually listed in the job description.
i calculated the hours for that too.
then i added them up.
i then looked at the math.
in a year, there 365 days, 52 weeks and 8765 hours.
generally people work 20 days a month, 8 hours per day, so that's 1920 hours. that's not even considering the public holidays etc.
this year, im suppose to put in;
3,755 hours!
that's almost DOUBLE what normal people do!
to achieve this, i basically either need to work;
25 days a month at 12 hours per day
OR
30 days a month at 10 hours per day
and even then im still short 155 hours!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
basically, im screwed.
there goes my life this year huhu.
and i calculated the hours it will take me for each single project.
i then listed down my every day/monthly responsibilities and kpi that are actually listed in the job description.
i calculated the hours for that too.
then i added them up.
i then looked at the math.
in a year, there 365 days, 52 weeks and 8765 hours.
generally people work 20 days a month, 8 hours per day, so that's 1920 hours. that's not even considering the public holidays etc.
this year, im suppose to put in;
3,755 hours!
that's almost DOUBLE what normal people do!
to achieve this, i basically either need to work;
25 days a month at 12 hours per day
OR
30 days a month at 10 hours per day
and even then im still short 155 hours!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
basically, im screwed.
there goes my life this year huhu.
Friday, November 05, 2010
if i am
today is a public holiday here.
and im in the office, working as usual.
some things never change while others moved too fast that i cant catch up.
its been a while since i last update on my phd progress. yes the dream is still there, and am trying harder than ever now.
a few weeks ago, i got a horrible asthma attack, it has been quite a while, ive always been asthmatic but usually i avoid things that i know would trigger it. so it was kinda of a surprise when i got hit so bad, that i had to go for the nebuliser for 15 minutes at the office clinic and rest there for a while. the doctor confirmed it was due to stress and too much work that trigger it. go figure. i text my boss while i was literally breathing through a machine that i am sick and thus would not be able to make it to the presentation due in 15 minutes. everything is completed and i have briefed him on it, so i asked if he could do it instead.
his response was to delay the presentation for an hour so that i can come back up to present it after i am able to breathe normally again.
how sick is that?
how selfish and inconsiderate and thoroughly sick is that?
and what is even more sickening is that i actually did it. i actually went back up to my office and did the presentation and continued to work until 9pm.
despite actually getting a week's medical leave from the doctor who was very worried about my unusually low blood pressure and bloodshot eyes.
so yes, the phd dream is still there. i know i have to work just as hard to get the doctorate, i know the stress level is high too and i know all the up and downs it. im fully aware how lonely and frustating and even more terrifying as you are on scholarship where extensions and failures are not an option.
but at least the end result is your dream coming true.
the end result is your own satisfaction.
the end result will make you happy and it will benefit you endlessly.
the end result is all about you.
and that is a good enough reason.
and im in the office, working as usual.
some things never change while others moved too fast that i cant catch up.
its been a while since i last update on my phd progress. yes the dream is still there, and am trying harder than ever now.
a few weeks ago, i got a horrible asthma attack, it has been quite a while, ive always been asthmatic but usually i avoid things that i know would trigger it. so it was kinda of a surprise when i got hit so bad, that i had to go for the nebuliser for 15 minutes at the office clinic and rest there for a while. the doctor confirmed it was due to stress and too much work that trigger it. go figure. i text my boss while i was literally breathing through a machine that i am sick and thus would not be able to make it to the presentation due in 15 minutes. everything is completed and i have briefed him on it, so i asked if he could do it instead.
his response was to delay the presentation for an hour so that i can come back up to present it after i am able to breathe normally again.
how sick is that?
how selfish and inconsiderate and thoroughly sick is that?
and what is even more sickening is that i actually did it. i actually went back up to my office and did the presentation and continued to work until 9pm.
despite actually getting a week's medical leave from the doctor who was very worried about my unusually low blood pressure and bloodshot eyes.
so yes, the phd dream is still there. i know i have to work just as hard to get the doctorate, i know the stress level is high too and i know all the up and downs it. im fully aware how lonely and frustating and even more terrifying as you are on scholarship where extensions and failures are not an option.
but at least the end result is your dream coming true.
the end result is your own satisfaction.
the end result will make you happy and it will benefit you endlessly.
the end result is all about you.
and that is a good enough reason.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
berkira nya....
perlu ke buat comparison kerja siapa lagi banyak? kerja mana lagi penting?
kalau nak ikut kan, kerja doctor tu lagi banyak..selamat kan nyawa lagi...
kalau nak ikut kan, kerja cikgu itu lebih penting..didik kanak2..
our companies are competitors but essential buat kerja yang sama jer..
bukan nak kata kerja yg kite buat ni tak penting, tak banyak, tapi tak perlu lah nak compare, siapa tidur lagi lambat, siapa balik office lagi lambat, siapa kena kerja weekend lagi banyak...
if this is a contest, man, its one contest i do not want to win.
i have a life!
kalau nak ikut kan, kerja doctor tu lagi banyak..selamat kan nyawa lagi...
kalau nak ikut kan, kerja cikgu itu lebih penting..didik kanak2..
our companies are competitors but essential buat kerja yang sama jer..
bukan nak kata kerja yg kite buat ni tak penting, tak banyak, tapi tak perlu lah nak compare, siapa tidur lagi lambat, siapa balik office lagi lambat, siapa kena kerja weekend lagi banyak...
if this is a contest, man, its one contest i do not want to win.
i have a life!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
the pursuit of happyness...
everytime i meet my frend and colleaque Nadia, our main topic of discussion is always the same..
1. how much we hated our work
2. how we wish we could resign tomorrow
3. what are we going to do with all that free time *hihi*
working in a an international oil and gas company is really not as glamorous as everyone thinks. unfortunately this is the mindset of most people, especially the older generation folks. just say only my company name, you can actually see the way their faces lit, their respect grew while they nodded knowingly, thinking or saying out loud "wah, pay must be good aa, bonus sure 8 months" while winking conspirationally.
but u know what, all that money, its really not worth it. im too lazy to even list down all the shit that we go through working here, but suffice to say, there's no money enough in the world that can compensate to literary vomitting because you have too much work and your head feels like exploding, or finding yourself suddenly sobbing your hearts out because you're too tired and exhausted or having sleepless nights and your dreams are filled with work stuff, that you get up feeling more dead than alive.
seriously not worth it.
early this month, the global heads for our department came down for a quick visit. msia's team has always been the one to be the first to get hit if the global wants to implement something or try something new or get something done, and us, being asians, no matter how much we complained and grieved and whined, at the end of the day, the asian prides and ego still prevails and in effort to show the mat salleh that we are made of stronger stuff, we would be successfully in completing whatever they throw at us, even if we have to die trying.
such a lousy way to work isnt it? but there you go.
so anyway, they came and one the of the thing that cropped up during the get together is work life balance. so lemme, tell you, work life balance is a HUGE thing in this company, am not sure about other oil n gas cos, but here, its an issue people are most concerned about. and every march, right after the bonuses are announced (see how "clever" it all is), there will be a global survey for everyone, on what they think of the company, job security, salary and all HR related and people related issues, and of course, work life balance.
and every year, the score on work life balance, especially on the asia side, is pitiful.
and every year, we would ask the global company, what are they doing to help us get this balance.
so this year, they came and we asked the question, straight to the global head.
and her answer?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
is simply "we (the company) are not responsible for your work life balance, if you have an inbalance, then it is due to your time management, not the company"
you can almost hear the collective drop of hearts and brains and all other organs into the floor as the whole team grasp in amazement of the true meaning of her words..
if that's the case;
1. what the hell is the yearly people survey is bloody for? for fun? like seeing the result and thinking "oh lookie, work is 99% and life is 1%, ok, now maybe i will consider giving this 20mil usd cost savings initiatives for them to deliver in 3 months, or then again, maybe i will, who needs a life anyway"
2. it totally gives the company the freedom to throw anything at us even though we are already heavily ladened and burdened with so many deliverables that we are putting in 16 hrs per day, and they just get away with "hey, its not our problem, its you who does not how to manage your time"
utter crap right?
both of us are workaholic. we have no issues working hard. we love challenges and getting the numbers right.
but like what both of our other half said, you guys work like crazy but in the end, the company gets the profit, while we're lucky if we even get a thank you or a pat on the back. bonuses depends on the group performance, so even if you do perform like crazy, in 2009 due to the recession, its barely mentionable the bonus we get, so really what the point? pay rise depends on the performance yes, but because we work in a crazy competetive dog eat dog world, if you put in 100% there will always be someone who will put in 200%, and that person will compete with someone who puts in 300% and so its a never ending race.
so, just so you know im not simply complaining here (although yes, i do complain and whine about this a lot in my blog but hello, that's the whole purpose of my blog, so that i can vent out and whine as much as like hahaha) i am doing something about it..
its a bit slow at the moment but there are some options im working on.
wish me luck and doa for me k!
1. how much we hated our work
2. how we wish we could resign tomorrow
3. what are we going to do with all that free time *hihi*
working in a an international oil and gas company is really not as glamorous as everyone thinks. unfortunately this is the mindset of most people, especially the older generation folks. just say only my company name, you can actually see the way their faces lit, their respect grew while they nodded knowingly, thinking or saying out loud "wah, pay must be good aa, bonus sure 8 months" while winking conspirationally.
but u know what, all that money, its really not worth it. im too lazy to even list down all the shit that we go through working here, but suffice to say, there's no money enough in the world that can compensate to literary vomitting because you have too much work and your head feels like exploding, or finding yourself suddenly sobbing your hearts out because you're too tired and exhausted or having sleepless nights and your dreams are filled with work stuff, that you get up feeling more dead than alive.
seriously not worth it.
early this month, the global heads for our department came down for a quick visit. msia's team has always been the one to be the first to get hit if the global wants to implement something or try something new or get something done, and us, being asians, no matter how much we complained and grieved and whined, at the end of the day, the asian prides and ego still prevails and in effort to show the mat salleh that we are made of stronger stuff, we would be successfully in completing whatever they throw at us, even if we have to die trying.
such a lousy way to work isnt it? but there you go.
so anyway, they came and one the of the thing that cropped up during the get together is work life balance. so lemme, tell you, work life balance is a HUGE thing in this company, am not sure about other oil n gas cos, but here, its an issue people are most concerned about. and every march, right after the bonuses are announced (see how "clever" it all is), there will be a global survey for everyone, on what they think of the company, job security, salary and all HR related and people related issues, and of course, work life balance.
and every year, the score on work life balance, especially on the asia side, is pitiful.
and every year, we would ask the global company, what are they doing to help us get this balance.
so this year, they came and we asked the question, straight to the global head.
and her answer?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
is simply "we (the company) are not responsible for your work life balance, if you have an inbalance, then it is due to your time management, not the company"
you can almost hear the collective drop of hearts and brains and all other organs into the floor as the whole team grasp in amazement of the true meaning of her words..
if that's the case;
1. what the hell is the yearly people survey is bloody for? for fun? like seeing the result and thinking "oh lookie, work is 99% and life is 1%, ok, now maybe i will consider giving this 20mil usd cost savings initiatives for them to deliver in 3 months, or then again, maybe i will, who needs a life anyway"
2. it totally gives the company the freedom to throw anything at us even though we are already heavily ladened and burdened with so many deliverables that we are putting in 16 hrs per day, and they just get away with "hey, its not our problem, its you who does not how to manage your time"
utter crap right?
both of us are workaholic. we have no issues working hard. we love challenges and getting the numbers right.
but like what both of our other half said, you guys work like crazy but in the end, the company gets the profit, while we're lucky if we even get a thank you or a pat on the back. bonuses depends on the group performance, so even if you do perform like crazy, in 2009 due to the recession, its barely mentionable the bonus we get, so really what the point? pay rise depends on the performance yes, but because we work in a crazy competetive dog eat dog world, if you put in 100% there will always be someone who will put in 200%, and that person will compete with someone who puts in 300% and so its a never ending race.
so, just so you know im not simply complaining here (although yes, i do complain and whine about this a lot in my blog but hello, that's the whole purpose of my blog, so that i can vent out and whine as much as like hahaha) i am doing something about it..
its a bit slow at the moment but there are some options im working on.
wish me luck and doa for me k!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
learning curve
lama dah tak update blog kan?
not intentionally...
reason being most of the stuff going on right now is work related and i cant vent here, as i know some work peeps reads my blog and who knows...sometimes some people takes some things the wrong way kan..so i saved those for another private diary hehe :p
just completed my IELTS test yesterday...tis was allright i think..for sure will meet the band requirement lah, but nak score tu, i dont think so sebab i kinda take it quite easily sebab tak nak susah2 stress bagai...once i get the results the next step of the process commences...
i am determined more than ever to do my phd now. i think it is time. i think i have reached my limit when it comes to the industry work. that's how much this company expects out of you. thats why they dont allow you to be in the same role more than 4 years. pretty smart HR move there. people will get burned out after two years, then the next two they will be working like robots and then if they dont move to another job, they will simply resign. such is the nature of the rat race in oil and gas and in an international company.
i really dont have much to update hehe
so sad lah kan... this blog is totally being neglected...
i think when i live in UK dulu lagi banyak updates :p
tunggu lah saya fly buat phd nanti k :p
am off to bandung (yes, again! haha) on thursday..so c ya when i get back (^_^)
not intentionally...
reason being most of the stuff going on right now is work related and i cant vent here, as i know some work peeps reads my blog and who knows...sometimes some people takes some things the wrong way kan..so i saved those for another private diary hehe :p
just completed my IELTS test yesterday...tis was allright i think..for sure will meet the band requirement lah, but nak score tu, i dont think so sebab i kinda take it quite easily sebab tak nak susah2 stress bagai...once i get the results the next step of the process commences...
i am determined more than ever to do my phd now. i think it is time. i think i have reached my limit when it comes to the industry work. that's how much this company expects out of you. thats why they dont allow you to be in the same role more than 4 years. pretty smart HR move there. people will get burned out after two years, then the next two they will be working like robots and then if they dont move to another job, they will simply resign. such is the nature of the rat race in oil and gas and in an international company.
i really dont have much to update hehe
so sad lah kan... this blog is totally being neglected...
i think when i live in UK dulu lagi banyak updates :p
tunggu lah saya fly buat phd nanti k :p
am off to bandung (yes, again! haha) on thursday..so c ya when i get back (^_^)
Thursday, May 06, 2010
great things comes in threes?
today has been a wonderful day :)
first - as per post below.
second - approval from Line Manager on my future in this company.
third - approval from GM Malaysia on my future in this company.
(^_^)
im so excited!
ok, tetiba extra rajin nak buat kerja hari nie :)
first - as per post below.
second - approval from Line Manager on my future in this company.
third - approval from GM Malaysia on my future in this company.
(^_^)
im so excited!
ok, tetiba extra rajin nak buat kerja hari nie :)
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