live like yr dying

dont you just like that song by Chris Allen? he's the winner of last year's american idol and at first i was willing to brush him off, macam nothing special je..then he comes out with a song like this! fantastic!

oh and listening to Mika now too -my fav song tak tau title but goes sumting like "more than this...i hate days like this dum dum di..when it rain and rains, it rain and rains, when it rain and rains.." hehe lebih kurang camtu la...best nyanyi dalam kereta yang tgh stuck dalam traffic jam sebab hujan lebat gila :)

i started this post this morning..but had to save it first cos just realised its month end closing and i hadnt made a dent in the damn accruals..i had something to write about, now i cant remember what it was!

ok, this has got to be the most meaningless post ever, sorry folks!

to say or not to say..

on my way to work today, on the radio, they were having an animated discussions on good comebacks. basically, if someone were to say something nasty or insult you, what do you say back in return? or do you just stood there, speechless in humiliation and anger, and generally let the other person get away with it?

from the many phonecalls and smses that came through, i concluded that we malaysian's are generally not the kind to confront the other person, especially if its insults of body weight, looks or the way you drive, who you date etc. if its about work and being proffesional, yes we would say our piece, otherwise we meekly take in the insult and walk away.

why? are our self confident that low or we really cant think of anything to say when it comes to defend ourselves? in my part for example, when that colleague made that nasty comment about being free vs not married (see post below), i was literaly speechless, my mind went blank and i really couldnt think of anything to say!

so today, as i ate lunch at my desk (yes2 sadly i am that busy - else an excuse to surf a little bit hehehe), i googled some good comebacks on the net, and here are some interesting ones;

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

How about never? Is never good for you? - im gonna use this one on an annoying person i know hahaha

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public - classic!

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. - THIS is what i shud have said to that nasty woman!

You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. - kalau dalam meeting we say this okey tak? hehehehe

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

Do I look like a people person?

You! Off my planet!

Well, your day is a total waste of makeup.

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

so there you go, try using it the next time someone thought they can mess with you! :p

putting things in perspective..

ok, here's the thing, as much as i am in love with him, sometimes the things he said or do just make me wanna grab the baseball bat and hit him. hard.

being the one who understands you the most, he, unfortunately would have the amazing capability and power, to push the right and the wrong buttons on you.

there are things we all sometimes wish we could change in a man but then, i guess at the end of the day, we need to look at the things that matters and forget about the rest of the mundane things.

after all, its not like we are without flaws either.

guess what makes or breaks a relationship is putting things in perspective and not let the unimportant things get to you.

just remind me not keep a baseball bat near me ok. :p

berhati2 main snow okeh :p

those yang kat UK tu mesti rasa mcm calvin kat bawah ni kan?



added another note as an answer to those who kept asking me about my new year resolution! (^_^)

all pictures are courtesy of google images - under Calvin and Hobbes copyright i suppose :p

there's this place i go..

last week i took a day off just to run some really-dah-lama-pending errands. dulu i could actually just lari keluar jap from office or do them before masuk office, my boss dont mind me masuk lambat cos he knows being in operations, ive been on call 24 hrs anyway.

but now in this company, adalah sangat susah to do that. first the location, the new office being in damansara, when all my bankings and saloon (eh, gi saloon masuk category errands hehe) and mechanics and wat nots are all in kl. second, this company adalah sedikit skema (but sometimes its a good thing) where most people are the 9 to 5 lots (i get to go home at 5, so dats a good thing :p). so concept lari2 kejap ni is just not something they do. what they usually do is "work from home" and then run their errands. but me being a nerd and all, if im "working from home" i wud literally work at home, nak kuar beli lunch pun fikir sepuluh kali in case my boss IM me and i couldnt answer cos tgh sebok membeli belah di one utama :p plus nanti ada perasaan berdebar2 and guilty if im out running errands and salah guna kepercayaan company (chewah) when i do that. so, i had to take leave.

i digress.

wat i wanted to write about was actually my stop at mara office to inquire about the skim pelajar cemerlang (spc) offer that shud have been out by this time. so there i was, in front of the biasiswa counter trying to get a decent answer out of the officers.

me : cik, borang untuk spc and other mara scholarship dah keluar ke?

her : belum lagi. (while writing something furiously in the guest book)

me : bila ya?

her : kami pun tak tau, bila-bila dia keluar nanti, tau lah. (ape punye answer ni?)

me : tapi macamana saya nak tau bila dah keluar and nak amik borang. takkan takde tentative dates ke? mesti ada dateline untuk submission nanti kan?

her : dik (dik???!!), itu bukan tugas saya nak ambil tahu tarikh borang ni keluar, bila org atasan bagi tahu baru lah kami tahu. kalau dik nak, call lah sini tiap2 hari tanye, ok?

and she passed a piece of paper with a number on it and gestured for the next person, guess i was unceremoniously dismissed. she wasnt rude or anything, she was just, um, wats the word, ape eh, cant find the word to describe her. this is my first time actually in the mara bahagian biasiswa office and i discovered that whether yr at jpa or at mara, the officers there are really one of a kind. some are super duper nice and will get out of their way to assist you, genuinely concern officers passionate about the education of the young, while the rest, are like "i can never go overseas to study so wat do i care if u get yr loan or not" kinda attitude.

for me, im always ever so grateful and thankful that i get loans and scholarships both for my degree and masters. for my masters for eg, its like, "you're giving me this money, this almost quarter of a million so that i can get a masters? really? any university i want in uk? and yr paying my tuition and giving me pocket money? to study wat i love and in a country i adore? no catch? and i dont have to pay u back or anything? really? waddahell, are u crazy??" hehehehehe. dats how i always felt :p

anyway, digressing again. bottom line is, i dont know when the offers/borang will be out. so i still have time to fine tune my phd proposal. but what if i missed it? takkan nak call office mara tiap2 hari?

footnote : i have a degree in chemical engineering and a masters in international logistics and what did i do today? kena jadi delivery girl sending company diaries to petronas and chevron cos boss dearie forgot to courier them out before he went for two weeks outstation and i cant ask the admin girl to do it due to "compliances". its middle of january already for goodness sake, i doubt by now anyone wants a diary anyhows wats with the iphones and blackberries and wat nots... sigh..

Dream Catch Me

By Newton Faulkner (especially for "you" (^_^))

Every time I close my eyes

It’s you and I know now

Who I am
and I know now

There’s a place I go

When I’m alone

Do anything I want

Be anyone I wanna be

But it is us I see

And I cannot believe I’m fallin

That’s where I’m goin

Where are you goin

Hold it close won’t let this go
Dream catch me

Dream catch me when I fall

Or else I won’t come back at all

You do so much

That you don’t know

It’s true

And I know now

Who I am
And I know now

There’s a place I go

When I’m alone

Do anything I want

Be anyone I wanna be

But it is us I see

And I cannot believe I’m fallin

That’s where I’m goin

Where are you goin

Hold it close won’t let this go
Dream catch me

Dream catch me when I fall

Or else I won’t come back at all

See you as a mountain

A fountain of God

See you as as a descant soulin the setting sun

You as the sound
I’m young

There’s a place I go

When I’m alone

Do anything I want

Be anyone I wanna be

But it is us I see

And I cannot believe I’m fallin

There’s a place I go

When I’m alone

Do anything I wantB

e anyone I wanna be

But it is us I see

And I cannot believe I’m fallin

That’s where I’m goin

Where are you goin

Hold it close won’t let this go
Dream catch me

Dream catch me when I fall

Or else I won’t come back at all

monday ramblings..

eh tapi dah tuesday hehe..lost track of me days :p

its been a week plus into the new year and i have to be able to get into the groove of work..its been crazily busy as usual but somehow im still in relaxed mode, not yet into the work at full speed ahead. there are many things i want to write here but my thoughts are all over the place so here it is, in no particular order of importance or chronologically correct :p

was at neyo's concert last thursday. he was AMAZING! really! singing live song after song after song flawlessly - true performer indeed! bought the most expensive ticket as possible as to avoid crowds BUT forgot to check that turns out all tickets are standing ones, so yr still stuck in the crowd after all. they have these VVIP seats next to ours, filled it (weirdly enough) either malaysian artist, or some heavily make-up-ed girls in skimpy outfits or really old men accompanied by heavily make-up-ed girls in skimpy outfit. but they are so boring, they didnt dance or clap or anything, they just sit there, beer (yes, even the malay ones) and cigarattes in hand, until towards th end of the show..guess by now they are drunk already. yucks. what a waste. found out the tickets for the VVIP seats actually cost RM1,500! lama tak gi concert. i was dancing my heart out. but got funny glances from this girl pakai tudung standing passively next to me. i think the funny glances was because i was wearing my tudung but was still dancing sesuka hati. but yr at a concert lah! kalau nak tunjuk baik, wat are u doing at the concert too? people are weird.

yesterday i was at the office library, contemplating to get some story books. while i was browsing through, a colleaque came in and suddenly made this remark "borrowing books? wah you're so free meh? but yr not married yet kan? no wonder lah you have all the free time in the world". i posted this on my facebook and my cousin commented/replied with this;
"Sabarje lah..... Well, dia sibuk tanya pasal kahwin tu ngape and what does free time or able to read books/novel got to do with been married? Such a third class mind!.... and if he / she implying that after your are married, you don't even have time to read and stuff, no wonder lah he/she can give a comment like that cause since been married, ... See Morehe/she does not have any singgle intellectual conversation with other!...... hahahaha.... (Tak nak khawin lah cam nie, takut otak tak berkembang......hehehe)" - :p isnt my cousin classic? suka hehe. but she's right, wat is the relevant in that? none right? i cant imagine not having time to read. takkan 24 hrs nak berkepit saja. u tgk i, i tgk u. hahaha bosan nya! sayang, u wud let me continue my crazy reading/book-buying cravings right? :p

this makes me wonder even more about those people who totally lost all identity when they got married. there's a trend that i notice when my friends got married - not all lah ok, but most/some - first u never hear/see from them anymore, u totally become non-existence in their lives, probably for the next 3/4yrs or so. then they got bored of their spouses and suddenly yr the best friend again. second, they have lost all decision making skills. nak beli magazine pun, "um, i kena tanya husband i lah, boleh tak beli majalah wanita nie" apakah? its yr money and its just a magazine!! (ooooooh, does this got to do with the no-free-time above? ;p). third, kalau both dalam facebook, wife update husband comment, husband update wife comment, balik2 kat situ, dua orang tu jugak :p bukan duduk serumah ke? :p but ok lah, this is kinda cute, it means both are totally obsessed with each other hehe.

i need another vacation plan. although im going to hanoi in march, and have several work trips line up, i need one vacay plan that will consume my mind and keeps me going when times are bad (chewah). so am currently looking at two options, one is a trip to US with besties in october, planning to go to LA, Texas and New York. hehehe mcm tak logic right? well, LA is cos the flight memang direct pegi situ saja, so alang2 might as well layan universal studios hollywood and disneyland right? Texas is cos that's where bestie has work so free lodgings there. New York cos we wanna be perasan and act out enacments of sex and the city around the big apple. :p second trip that i have in mind is to spend christmas and new year (walaiwei, its only january and already im thinking of new year 2011 haha) with you-know-who di uk. was also thinking of doing a staff exchange program so that i can "work-from-london" or "work-from-home" in london. plus, this way, my flights are covered by the company. :p we'll see. but this is my fav plan so far.

okey lah, i think dats enough rambling for now.

bye!

ps : to smart tag users out there, if the queue for smart tag lane is 1km long and cash is only 2 cars long, why do you still go to the smart tag lane? u are just adding to the traffic jam! too lazy to roll down the window? no small change? u do know all cash lanes have touch and go machine as well? wait, u do know yr smart tag actually uses touch and go cards? maybe smart tag users are not necessarily that smart after all - i dont get it.

Chevening Scholarship

was again reminded by a reader that i have yet to post an entry on this. but i think its a bit late for this year's submission right? i think the dateline was few months back. but ok, since it has been requested a few times already, i just write it here ok. (sorry Lena for the delay :p)

first of all, you dont need to have an excellent result in your degree. not necessarilly you have to have 3.0 CGPA and above baru boleh apply. im a living proof of that as my degree result memang tak reach 3.0 pun. seriously. if you apply straight after you completed your degree, then yes, you need an outstanding CGPA, BUT if not, all you need is at least 2 -3 years working experience.

next step, application process. this is what i do, but it may varies from person to person, and i bet you, my fellow Chevening friends may have a totally different experiences all together, so its really boils down to your effort ok? :) right, the process.

1. i attended the postgrad fair in klcc, which happens a few times a year, as you know. i went to various booths/universities that i was interested in, and at the time, i managed to have several impromptu interviews with the universities rep, who usually either the regional manager or a dean - someone who's main aim is to attract students to their university, of course. my interest was in plymouth, of course, and i met this lady, who happens to be the regional manager, and she interviewed me right at the booth itself.

2. next i prepared the application form and requirements.

3. there are 2 references that they require, one is from the company yr working at - especially important if you entering basis on work experiences, second is from the university you did your degree. i didnt know the importance of the references until i had a chat with a british council rep after i came back from uk, who told me that while almost all the applicants for the chevening scholarship are really good and qualified, one of the main thing that can separate them is how they are perceived by others, a good and unique references are one of the things that they look for. so dont write generic reference letter, try to be as specific as you can, like mentioning the projects you are working on, how you have contributed to the company and all that.

4. ok, here's the thing to remember, chevening scholarship is design to "create future leaders of Malaysia" - so their aim is to send you for an international education so that you can return and berkhidmat kepada negara - so during my process of application, i had to stressed out the fact that i wanted to be involved in several projects that wil benefit the country etc etc - i found that this helps.

5. the essay - the critical bit, on why you wanted to study in the uk and why you want to study what you want to study. mine was simple, its just wasnt available in malaysia, so in order for me to 'serve the country' they need to send me for international education :p i also discovered, the harder to find the course here in malaysia, the likelier are your chances. granted that you met all the other requirements of course. my essay wasnt brilliant, it was just honest. i even wrote out my frustation of MARA and JPA not giving loans for my type of industry (shipping/marine/logistics) and focuses more on engineering, medics and accountancies!! dont we have enough accountants already??!! (hehe, no offence to my accountant readers :p) i mean, be fair la right, give other industries a chance too, and for a country that wishes to be a major port hub and having dreams of beating spore to it, the government is not being very encouraging for the education of this subjects! i also wrote about meeting the university regional manager - and i even quoted her name and designation - see how handy it was!

6. selling yourself - sell, sell! this one is pretty standard in all your application process for even a job interview. no need to eloborate lah ok.

7. put some effort into it. i drove all the way to my uni in tronoh perak just to get my dean's signature. alone. i went to my company's president and ceo and vp hr and asked them to write a specific reccomendation and reference letter. it took almost a month before i got them. you can say it may have to do with luck that i got the scholarship but hell i put a lot of effort on it, if luck is how i got it, then i bloody well deserve it. ok?

8. submit! - by hand. yes, i was that much of a control freak. didnt even trust the post hehe.

9. the interview. there was 2 person who interview me. one brit lady and a scottish guy,who has the thickest accent i have ever heard AND he is apparently some trade and economics expert - oh bloody hell, already i knew this is gonna be a tough one. i dont really remember much about the rest of the interview, there were some jokes, some laughs and nervous sweaty palms, but they did ask me this - how do you think, by getting this education, will benefit your work, and how it will affect the uk-msia shipping and trade industry? how the hell you answer that man? scary right? there are few of this types of questions that were fired and believe me, u need to know stuff to answer this, or u really need to be able charm your way through. i think, i had a bit of both. see, they only ask me what i wrote in the application essay and form. if you are honest that this is really what you have been doing, you should not have problems answering them - of course i can say that now, but masa tu, i was a nervous wreck! hehe.

i still remember how i felt the day i got the email that i have won the scholarship. i had just came down from a particularly difficult offshore trip, i was tired and exhausted and my brain was ready to explode. i had came down from the ship at 3pm, after being awake for more than 24 hrs, drove 4 hrs from jb to kl, got stuck in kl jam as usual, still i had to be in the office for an 8pm meeting. i wanted to quickly check my personal email as i knew the result of the interview was due out, so i sat in my corner of the office and i opened my email and there it was. the best news i have ever had in my life. my heart felt like it is literaly going to burst from happiness, i wanted to laugh and cry and smile all at the same time! i have never felt happier in my life. ever. it was the most amazing feeling in the world! i think i was grinning and smiling away for the entire week, before i calm down and get down to business of preps of going to uk :)

so there, that's my story and two bits worth :)

hope it helps! (^_^)

2010

hope its not too late to wish everyone a very happy new year 2010 (^_^)

it was 3 years ago that i started writing this blog of mine, with the main intention back then was to write about my life in the UK for the benefit of family and friends. it was also a testimonial of my thoughts, what i have done, what im going through, places ive been and where i am in my life.

few months ago i was contemplating closing this blog..due to many many reasons, mainly because over the years it has become a tool for mis-communications, misunderstandings, arguments and bitter fights, until i become to wonder what is the point of this blog in the first place? then i realised, i no longer able to write what i want anymore, for fear of the exact above from happening, which kinda the point of the blog in the first place, an avenue for u to let it out. but it looks like we have to be a hypocrite and pretentious even in cyberspace, but of course, this is due to my own personal fault for making my own identity known, after all, if i want to write anything i want, i should have remained anonymous.

but, after much contemplation, i decided to keep this blog open. it has been with me through misery, pain and heartache. it was with me through wonderful times, amazing experiences and my many adventures. im not ready to let it go just yet :)

as usual, i will be posting my lesson learned for 2009, its still in compilation process :p but for now, thank you for reading this humble blog of mine and i wish everyone, a very happy new year (^_^)