barely breathing..

sangat sangat busy!

my lunch today was 3 sticks of choki choki eaten at my desk while crunching out refinery economics numbers huhu

so pathetic right!

on top of that, i miss my jogging partner aka one of BFF :(

she (the lucky woman!) is on holiday in Cape Town, SA and will be offshore for the next five weeks!!!! just in time of my birthday! she better bring me back something shiny and pretty for my birthday :p

so...

i dont have time for my daily jog at the Kiara Park..

i havent eaten a decent lunch in a proper restaurant or even at home in weeks....

i am double hatting 2.5 roles at the same time which means as of today my inbox mail is equal to 2043 unread emails...

my request to take just one freaking day off have been rejected 5 times!!! while other peeps happily take a week off!!argghhhh!!!!

i need a long break.................................................

preferably somewhere cold.

:(

sekian dan terima kasih kerana sudi membaca tentang kehidupan saya yang sangat sedih ini.

ps : the 30 day blog challenge will have to be postponed until further notice!

gold digger

remember my earlier post on the two handbags and which one im gonna purchase from the bonus im getting?

well anyway, in the end i did the grown up thing instead.

i bought gold.

(^_^)

yep.

gold man!

can you believe it!!

its an amazing investment and i was stupid not to have done it earlier when the price was lower.

anyway, better late than never :)

ask me privately if you wanna know more k :)

bagaholic anonymous

hi, my name is nique and im a bagaholic.

every woman has their vices and mine, mine is handbags..

i cant help it!

i love the smell of a brand new handbag with their lovely dustbag and crisp packaging and chic paperbag, and using it for the first time proudly just makes you feel like everything is going to be alright in this world and nothing can bring you down...sigh...

and so with that, which one do you think i should get to be purchased from the "bonus" i got for being "uninitiative" and "lack ownership" despite the 12 hours per day 25 days per month i put it in this "amazing" and "fantastic" company?

this one?

or this one?
both are so lovely right? i know, i cant choose either huhu

i might just get them both, haha!

note to mr bf : ye2 i know, save save save :p

fine, i will play this game your way

as expected, my end of year review was pretty bad.

in fact, it was lower than bad, it was downright insulting actually.

i was actually laughing when my boss told me my score, because to me it was just so plain nonsense. he was, i think, a bit offended that i did not burst into tears or at least show some mortification or some humility in my horribly bad score.

instead i was amused.

i knew i was getting a bad one mainly because of an incident which i actually i blogged about but which i deleted cos i know some peeps from the office reads my blog.

so anyway, im actually pretty cool with the low scores.

i know for a fact that i have done all i can.

but if they wanna make it a political and a personal game, then fine, bring it on.

screwed

in preparation of the kpi discussion with my boss next week, i sat down today and listed down all the projects ive been assigned to this year.

and i calculated the hours it will take me for each single project.

i then listed down my every day/monthly responsibilities and kpi that are actually listed in the job description.

i calculated the hours for that too.

then i added them up.

i then looked at the math.

in a year, there 365 days, 52 weeks and 8765 hours.

generally people work 20 days a month, 8 hours per day, so that's 1920 hours. that's not even considering the public holidays etc.

this year, im suppose to put in;

3,755 hours!

that's almost DOUBLE what normal people do!

to achieve this, i basically either need to work;

25 days a month at 12 hours per day

OR

30 days a month at 10 hours per day

and even then im still short 155 hours!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

basically, im screwed.

there goes my life this year huhu.

mcm ni cara org kita buat bisnes??

my cousin just got married, masa christmas hari tu, i didnt attend as i was away in london, so mom told me some stuff that happened during the wedding, macam2 hal berlaku, my cousin ni pulak, and family dia semua jenis yang let go jer, so senang la kena pijak ishk..

cerita pertama - my cousin tempah pelamin nye set pasang kat rumah, so lengkap la with arches, and the chairs, bunga etc bagai, kat arch tu, ade tempat or soket for the lights kan, but diorang tak pasang lampu tu, which kalau tak pasang, the whole pelamin looks gelap la kan, mmg la ade main lampu rumah kat siling tu, but lampu at the pelamin will light up the deco more kan? so my mom ckp la, pasang la lampu tu, org pelamin tu boleh ckp "lampu tu takde, bulb dah rosak" so, kalau rosak bulb beli la baru ganti kan? my mom insist jugak nak, co dah kata bayar ribu riban for the pelamin mesti lah nak perfect kan?? so in the end they put in the lampu and they actually charge my cousin for the extra bulbs!!??? boleh tak? padahal its part of the pelamin package la kan? then boleh lepas tu pegi ckp kat my auntie (my mom's sister) yang "makcik tu bising la banyak komplen" and pointed to my mom!! my mom punye la nak mengamuk but sabar jer la cos its org lain punye majlis kan. so ok fine, next...

cerita kedua - my cousin ordered 200 chairs with the covers (so jadi la mcm kat hotel2 tu, ngan reben kat belakang). agreed cost was rm1 per cover, so okey la. turns out, diorang tak cukup 50 covers, so org kerusi tu kena gi amik kat tempat lain. ok fine. dah habis majlis semua, they told my cousin for the balance 50 tu, diorang nak charge rm3 per cover!! ape kes kan?? kata nye sebab kena amik kat tempat lain! so, its not our problem right? kan dah agree rm1 per cover for 200 chairs, takkan u didnt know how many covers u actually have right?? and u know wat, sebab dah end of the majlis, my cousin bayar jer la sebab tak nak gaduh2.

cerita ketiga (and last ye :p) - my cousin hired a professional photographer. konon famous la and in high demand, siap kena gi dari kedah ke singapore ke kl amik gambar bagai, harga pun boleh tahan jugak la kan. so my cousin hire dia untuk tiga event, malam akad nikah, then sanding belah bride, then the next day sanding belah groom. lepas sanding belah bride, they went to take an outdoor shoot tepi pantai (which last nampak gambar atas batu2 jer pantai langsung tak nampak ntah pape nye photographer), after that, boleh plak si photographer ni kata dia nak balik kl terus mlm tu, ada kerja kat melaka. padahal my cousin already paid for the three events!!! tak sempat nak argue ape2 mamat tu trus balik lepas outdoor shoot tu, so masa sanding belah groom, they didnt have a professional photographer!!

i can imagine the stress that my cousin and family went through but they shouldnt let these people walk all over them, terima aje org nak buat ape. memang agak sial cara2 diorang ni berbisnes, macamana nak maju?? pastu kalau kita hire bangsa lain to arrange, ckp kita ni tak tolong bangsa sendiri, bangsa sendiri perangai mcm haram nak tolong bende nye kan??

but lesson learned from this - i will get a trusted person to make the arrangements for the above for me, kalau semua nak handle sendiri (ni kes my cousin jugak, kalau ngan family jer mintak la tolong kan, that's wat we are here for) mau pengsan nanti. mcm kes photographer tu kan, padahal adik beradik my cousin ni semua camera dslr bagai tu, semua terrer IT, semua gang2 kelab photography, takkan tak boleh tolong adik sendiri cari kan professional photographer yg reliable kan? or yg buat part time pun kadang2 lawa jugak they work right?

so nway, itu jer cerita utk hari ini, sekian terima kaseh :p

if i am

today is a public holiday here.

and im in the office, working as usual.

some things never change while others moved too fast that i cant catch up.

its been a while since i last update on my phd progress. yes the dream is still there, and am trying harder than ever now.

a few weeks ago, i got a horrible asthma attack, it has been quite a while, ive always been asthmatic but usually i avoid things that i know would trigger it. so it was kinda of a surprise when i got hit so bad, that i had to go for the nebuliser for 15 minutes at the office clinic and rest there for a while. the doctor confirmed it was due to stress and too much work that trigger it. go figure. i text my boss while i was literally breathing through a machine that i am sick and thus would not be able to make it to the presentation due in 15 minutes. everything is completed and i have briefed him on it, so i asked if he could do it instead.

his response was to delay the presentation for an hour so that i can come back up to present it after i am able to breathe normally again.

how sick is that?

how selfish and inconsiderate and thoroughly sick is that?

and what is even more sickening is that i actually did it. i actually went back up to my office and did the presentation and continued to work until 9pm.

despite actually getting a week's medical leave from the doctor who was very worried about my unusually low blood pressure and bloodshot eyes.

so yes, the phd dream is still there. i know i have to work just as hard to get the doctorate, i know the stress level is high too and i know all the up and downs it. im fully aware how lonely and frustating and even more terrifying as you are on scholarship where extensions and failures are not an option.

but at least the end result is your dream coming true.

the end result is your own satisfaction.

the end result will make you happy and it will benefit you endlessly.

the end result is all about you.

and that is a good enough reason.

if money grows on trees...

i was with a friend at bangsar village ii yesterday, having coffee and window shopping..the new dortperks shop was soo boring, its bigger but i expected it to be more interesting..it being in the notorious bangsar village area yada yada..

newaysss...we went into one of those crazily expensive clothing shop to check out a winter coat (am looking for one since im off to uk in dec, but the price is 1.5k! gile lah) and while we were there, there was a lady, malay, about mid fifties, blond hair, LV bag, gucci sunglasses - u get the picture, was loudly complaining at the customer service area..

she was holding what looks like an ordinary tshirt, and was demanding her money back because there was a tiny tear at one side of the t shirt..

the sales person was not accommodating her because he insisted they cant give refunds or exchanges for items already worn and plus, the tear happens after she has already worn the tshirt, well yeah, fair, enough all shops are like that right? i mean, at the point we were thinking "apelah perempuan nie, takkan itu pun tak tau kan?"..

note - we were sibuk-ly browse dekat2 situ to hear the rest of the story hahaha

so they were arguing left and right and center and FINALLY i got the full picture of why she is so pissed and demanded the money back..

the tshirt is made of quite a flimsy material, some organic stuff, almost like see through material like, but its still just a simple short sleeve t shirt, no blings or anything, its a bit gathered on both sides, but thats it..the lady wore it once that very morning, she purchased it the day before, and when she put the tshirt on, the gathered cloth at the side unravelled and a tiny tear occured - ok i dont know how it happened but that her story..

the reason she demanded a refund or at least, an exchange, is because the tshirt cost is..
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i like to do this now, follow lady verde hahaha tapi xleh buat selalu nanti kena marah with LV hehehe (xpe ek verde skali skala :p :p :p)
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where was i?
oh the price..
its a whopping RM955!! close to a thousand buckaroos!!
SERIOUSLY!!

no wonder she is so pissed! i would be too! baru nak pakai dah koyak..and plus, if it tears when she was putting it on, to me it mean the needle work of the tshirt is bad and definetely i will blame the shop for it, but wud i go back to the shop and demand a refund if it happens? and would i get it? i probably would not go back and try to fix it on my own, especially if i tore out the tag already - note, that's why u shud always try it again at home (to parade in front of yr sisters usually haha) without taking of the tag, in case of anything happen BUT just dont forget to cut it before u go out..

but in this case, when you already spend so much on it, what do you do if its spoiled before you can even enjoy it?

so i cant help but wonder, there should be a warranty for purchases that high right? i mean, nowadays, even a simple 200 bucks mp3 player comes with a one year warranty! so items like clothing and handbags (i think some handbags do hv right?) shud also comes with warranties!

i mean you spent gazzilion of dollars for a top, and it got torn, you should be able to replace it with a new one, or at least free repairs service!

then again, i suppose there's a reason really really expensive clothes always always stresses on the cutting, the make, the needle work and when you purchase, you know you are getting a damn good quality stuff that is suppose to last forever and to pass on to yr kids and their kids...

so lesson learned? dont buy flimsy tshirt that will cost u a thousand bucks when u can get a pasar malam for 3 sepuluh ringgit :p

what do you think?

ps : oh, we didnt stick around long enough to find out if she got her refund back or not, the sales lady got suspicious when we start giggling quite uncontrollably so decided to get out before they called security. but in all fairness, i think she's entitled :p

the pursuit of happyness...

everytime i meet my frend and colleaque Nadia, our main topic of discussion is always the same..

1. how much we hated our work

2. how we wish we could resign tomorrow

3. what are we going to do with all that free time *hihi*


working in a an international oil and gas company is really not as glamorous as everyone thinks. unfortunately this is the mindset of most people, especially the older generation folks. just say only my company name, you can actually see the way their faces lit, their respect grew while they nodded knowingly, thinking or saying out loud "wah, pay must be good aa, bonus sure 8 months" while winking conspirationally.


but u know what, all that money, its really not worth it. im too lazy to even list down all the shit that we go through working here, but suffice to say, there's no money enough in the world that can compensate to literary vomitting because you have too much work and your head feels like exploding, or finding yourself suddenly sobbing your hearts out because you're too tired and exhausted or having sleepless nights and your dreams are filled with work stuff, that you get up feeling more dead than alive.


seriously not worth it.

early this month, the global heads for our department came down for a quick visit. msia's team has always been the one to be the first to get hit if the global wants to implement something or try something new or get something done, and us, being asians, no matter how much we complained and grieved and whined, at the end of the day, the asian prides and ego still prevails and in effort to show the mat salleh that we are made of stronger stuff, we would be successfully in completing whatever they throw at us, even if we have to die trying.

such a lousy way to work isnt it? but there you go.

so anyway, they came and one the of the thing that cropped up during the get together is work life balance. so lemme, tell you, work life balance is a HUGE thing in this company, am not sure about other oil n gas cos, but here, its an issue people are most concerned about. and every march, right after the bonuses are announced (see how "clever" it all is), there will be a global survey for everyone, on what they think of the company, job security, salary and all HR related and people related issues, and of course, work life balance.

and every year, the score on work life balance, especially on the asia side, is pitiful.

and every year, we would ask the global company, what are they doing to help us get this balance.

so this year, they came and we asked the question, straight to the global head.

and her answer?
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is simply "we (the company) are not responsible for your work life balance, if you have an inbalance, then it is due to your time management, not the company"

you can almost hear the collective drop of hearts and brains and all other organs into the floor as the whole team grasp in amazement of the true meaning of her words..

if that's the case;

1. what the hell is the yearly people survey is bloody for? for fun? like seeing the result and thinking "oh lookie, work is 99% and life is 1%, ok, now maybe i will consider giving this 20mil usd cost savings initiatives for them to deliver in 3 months, or then again, maybe i will, who needs a life anyway"

2. it totally gives the company the freedom to throw anything at us even though we are already heavily ladened and burdened with so many deliverables that we are putting in 16 hrs per day, and they just get away with "hey, its not our problem, its you who does not how to manage your time"

utter crap right?


both of us are workaholic. we have no issues working hard. we love challenges and getting the numbers right.


but like what both of our other half said, you guys work like crazy but in the end, the company gets the profit, while we're lucky if we even get a thank you or a pat on the back. bonuses depends on the group performance, so even if you do perform like crazy, in 2009 due to the recession, its barely mentionable the bonus we get, so really what the point? pay rise depends on the performance yes, but because we work in a crazy competetive dog eat dog world, if you put in 100% there will always be someone who will put in 200%, and that person will compete with someone who puts in 300% and so its a never ending race.



so, just so you know im not simply complaining here (although yes, i do complain and whine about this a lot in my blog but hello, that's the whole purpose of my blog, so that i can vent out and whine as much as like hahaha) i am doing something about it..


its a bit slow at the moment but there are some options im working on.


wish me luck and doa for me k!

may i have your hand, may i have this dance..

someone asked me why im not on nuffnang...

was tempted too, how nice to get those extra cash every month right? and even heard some people making thousands and thousands of dollars just by writing. even saw some of those thousands-dollars-making blog, some of them, they write crap! really! haha ok..ok..that was mean of me, am just being spiteful and jealous hehehe :p am happy for those folks who are able to generate such extend of extra income :) i write crap too, but i get nothing out of it nada! so salute to them!

but those people above, those who got thousands, they blog 5 - 8 times a day!! a day!! i dont think i can do that. i dont have THAT much of an opinion and my mind does not work that fast :p it took at least an hour to get one post out, even a simple one, like the one im writing now, i started at 8.30 and lo behold, an hour later and im still typing away...ok lah had to do some work in between, but there u go, i have too many distractions - like work and breakfast and two minutes gossip session with my schedulers hehe.

and i dont think i get that many readers anyway. i tend to get too emotional in my writing, and tend to get too dramatic and over the top. i know nothing about fashion or losing weight or make up.

i occasionally know a good spot to eat, give a movie or book review and can tell where to find good and halal food in half of europe and some parts of asia :) i can give you some tips on how to plan your travels and make this into a mini travel blog. but i dont do all of those, not consistently enough and certainly not enough to generate followers :p

hmm..we'll see..let me try to apply (sheesh) to nuffnang...who knows, they might reject me haha :p