another year....

hope its not too late to wish everyone a very happy new year :)

looking back at 2008, i would have to say it has been extremely tough year for me and Alhamdullilah, even though i managed to get through it pretty much unscathed, some things must be remembered, for the simple fact that those are the things that made me more humble, more accepting and more forgiving...

my lessons learned for 2008...

i painfully learned that upon returning to Malaysia in early 2008 that it is one of the decision that i deeply regret, and altho im more accepting to it now and believe that God might have other plans for me, i still have regrets for not listening to my heart..

i learned that you can be homesick even when you're at home, you can be lonely even when you're surrounded by other people and you can be silly and funny even when you have tears falling down your face...

i learned that i really really miss my best friends here.. my rocks, my knight-esses in shiny armor (dont need a man for these, women can rescue u too hehe), my shoulders to cry on even on their designer-handbags-carrying-shoulders :p, my mocks margharita buddies (how did we ever get high on those even without a single drop of alcohol in them??!!), my saturday morning breakfast companions..the list is endless..i really love those crazy bunch to death! :p

i learned that i now have develop an irritating phobia of closed space..hence could no longer take long flights i.e. more than 6 hours without medication :( actually even the Smart Tunnel scares me to death..i happily sit in the jam for 2 hours than going through the tunnel huhu

i learned that i still have the capacity to make new friends :) and people still continue to surprise me with their thoughtfulness, or with their ignorance and sometimes the one person you'd never thought you'd be friends with, just might turned out to be a best friend in the making..but lesson learned, "best friend" is not a term i would use so easily anymore...

i learned a lot during the time i resigned from my previous job and start a new one...that was a huge lesson and one that i certainly never ever intend to forget..i have made peace with the previous company and have even let go some of the bad feelings i discovered i still harbor at them but now all i feel is..pity..i suppose and sad that it should end that way..regardless of how they treat me in the end, at the beginning they were one the best thing that has ever happened to me..

i learned to be a bit more selfish.. and a lot more humble... a contradiction no? suffice to say that i spend my whole life trying to please other people when i should have been putting my happiness first, simple but still a lesson that needed to be learned and i also did certainly tend to be a bit arrogant and snobbish in terms of accepting the life that was laid out for me, i foolishly thought i deserve better when i hadnt done a thing to deserve it in the first place..so that's learned, the hard way..

and the best lesson of 2008?

i learned that the more i resist you....the more i fell in love with you...so here's my heart, i give it to you.....it may look battered and worn and it needs a bit of dusting actually, havent been used properly in years..but dont judge it by the way it looks on the outside, inside its filled with silly funny things to make you laugh, beautiful and gorgeous things to make you smile, crazy and albeit weird mysterious things that will always keeps you wanting more and most importantly every single bit of it belongs to you now, so cherish it wisely (^_^)

so that's my 2008, in black and white...

i have no new year resolution..never made any actually..i like to think that new beginnings can happen anytime, begin anytime, not just at a new year..but i do hope that it will be a colorful year and as it happens i will share it in this blog and hope you all will have fun reading it, as much as i love living and writing about it (^_^)

Happy New Year 2009!