this ain't a scene, it's an arms race

it was bloody freezing in the office today, but which unfortunately, i was the only one affected by it..probably due to sitting at my desk not moving for hours while others were going up down left and right for meetings. sometimes tis a good thing being an analyst, often the number crunching and analytical part will be done behind the scenes, while the decision makings are left to the bosses so i no need to attend hehe.. anyway, twas so cold today, was contemplating wearing gloves! truly! kalau pakai sure kena gelak ngan my colleagues, my boss and kakak cleaner tu, huhu..especially since my gloves looks like this.. :p


anyway, two months ago i had my first appraisal in this international oil and gas company. having come from a tiny little establishment where we dont even have KPIs or systems of appraisals, and no point of having one anyway as the chances of you getting a raise or a promotion is basically slim to none, it was liberating to went through an international appraisal system, and what i got actually determines my career path and of course, the extend of the financial increment.

so i was looking forward to sitting down with first, the direct line manager, then the GM, to go through the 2009 goals and performances, and if i have met them, and where i could have done better. i was particularly anxious as im sure all who've read my blog, as this post is highly related to finance analysis, something that i do not have a strong (or actually none) background at all. then i was also am interested to have a dicussion of where im moving to next, to discuss my next potential position, my own individual development, as i have been taking a lot of e-learning via the company's open university and i was eager to discuss where and when i can make my next move. the hr and performance policy here have a series of interviews and performance appraisals, filling up online your final discussions, which will be viewed by your entire global managers, for recruitment once your windows are open.

needless to say, the process was, at the end of the day, highly overrated and i was thoroughly dissapointed :(depending on wat kind of line manager u got and mine could hardly be bothered to have a one on one discussion with us :( instead he asks us to write out wat we think we have achieved and where we think we could improve and he will add and comment accordingly. tak suka la like this, sama macam ngan company lama je. wats the point of having all those procedures then if the boss is too lazy to do them?? my boss, he is a great operations manager, but lousy at managing people...sigh.

the point of this reambling was actually this, i wrote down what i wanted out of my career here and where i wanna go next and submitted it to hr and the GM - who went berserk! he send me an email saying "young lady, we need to sit down and have a discussion on your career path etc etc" and the discussion is tomorrow. and im dreading it. sure he wants to me stay in the same team and in the same department, as long as he is in it..he's known to do that...while im raring to go other places and do other things! sigh.

suddenly teringat kat my old team in the old company..

although at this time, we were so young and naive and never thought about where we gonna go and what we're gonna to do next..we were just enjoying and having fun working on the big ship. life was certainly simpler then..

rasa macam nak demam lah...:(