enough

Today for the first time in my working life, i felt like giving up and i felt like quitting.

And i’m not a quitter.

Ive had share of terrible bosses, who makes me cry every other week, who calls me up at 6am every morning for an update about the previous shipment, who yells and screams and shouts to your face just because, who doesn’t think your capable just because you’re a Malaysian muslim girl with a veil, who look for every opportunity to use your ideas and your reports and passed it off as his – to name a few.

ive had my share of nightmarish working time, 24 hours operations yes, going back home at 10pm only to come in again at 2am due to an operations emergency, to get waken up every hour in the middle of the night due to product and vessel issues, to get my leave cancelled and my tickets burned just like that, to walk out on friends, family and loved ones during dinners, meeting, dates and even on hari raya. To spend new year, xmas eve, independence day offshore just because they fall on the month end.

Ive had my share of lousy pay, being paid in cash, with no deduction to epf or anything, to get paid two months late because the company has lack of funds, to travel to jb or spore for work but not able to claim any money so everything on your own expenses.

But never once, i gave up.

Never once i said, this is it, enough.

And i have never actually felt physically and violently ill and literary throwing up my guts out in office bathroom due to sheer frustration, stress and amazing hatred to work and some of my co-workers.

 

They say there’s a first time for everything.

I hate it when they are right.

So what im to do now? Really resign? Really quit? Really?