ishk...

anak siapa lah nie...

semalam hari Ahad kerja dari kul 2pm - 10mlm...

hari ni Isnin masuk kul 7.15am - ni kul 8.30mlm tak balik balik lagi jugakkkk...

huaaaaaaa! sangat rasa nak nangis okeyyyy :(

if yr listenin', sing it back!

there's just something about having a good talk with my best friends that makes me feel...

heart warmingly happy...

melancholic..

inspired..

loved..

this weekend we made some pretty tough decisions and went through thousands of possibilities, meet the lovely doc, show some skin - actually a lot of skin :p, sticked to the plan, cried over a sappy romantic movie, ate so much that moving was not a possibility but still have room for popcorn at the movies, supported each other through "pain" and rain :p, met some people with life changing advices, walked the distance, paid the prices - in heels no less :p, planned for the future and dared to dream..

(^_^)

all in one weekend.

only possible with my lovelies, only with them.


(^_^)

what im watching this weekend..

hmmm..

baru beberapa minit letak post bawah ni dah ada yang hantar comment anonymous, tak puas hati dengan apa yang saya tulis.

kan saya dah cakap, post tu sensitive and juga awal2 dah minta maaf.

kalau dalam blog saya tak boleh luah kan perasaan, kat mana lagi kan. itu lah tujuan nye ade blog nie. selama ni saya rasa sangat2 jarang saya tulis benda2 yang orang tak suka. tapi penat lah, banyak sangat restriction. so saya rasa, saya entitled untuk sesekali write what i really feel about.

and if you are really my friend, you would understand.

and if you are really my friend, you know me well enough that you would still like me anyway :p

and if you are really my friend, you wouldnt be anonymous.

kan?

:)

basket case

*ni post yang agak sensitive, sila jangan terasa ya, ni my opinion saja, minta maaf kalau ada yang terkecik hati*

kalau dah ada facebook and emails and twitter and sewaktu dengan nya, kenapa masih perlu buat kad kahwin? nak kena design lagi, nak print, nak buat envelope, nak tulis alamat, nak beli setem, nak kena pergi post office beberapa kali, tunggu address orang bagi. macam leceh kan? kalau guna alam cyber, senang, select all, type sekali, one click and its out to everyone you know. save duit dan for sure tak akan tertinggal sesiapa.

do u agree?

i dont.

i hate getting wedding invitations via emails or even WORSE, Facebook.

to me, sending a wedding invitation is suppose to be a process, an event in itself, a joint effort made by the family, by the future bride and groom, its like this is us, inviting you, our lovely friends and family, to join us in the celebration of our marriage. i would spend time choosing the perfect colour, the perfect shape and the perfect wordings. i look forward to the process of sending out notices to everyone to give me their addresses and the post offices trips and buying stamps and finally pushing the stack of crisp white envelopes through the mailbox. (^_^)

to me its a gazillion times more better than a facebook message.

its crude and cold and boring and makes me tempted to click NO.

and what if im the kind of person to only check my Facebook once a month? i would have missed your invitation. so i dont get why you want to send such an important invite via Facebook, UNLESS you're just sending it for the sake of sending, kalau ada yg accept, ada lah, kalau takde, takpe.

i guess its easier for most people, especially kalau dah last minute and you dont have time to send the cards. but then, it just goes to show that you didnt think about me earlier and i only got the invitation 3 days before the wedding, which brings me to ask, ni ikhlas ke tak invite nie, ke sebab risau tak cukup orang datang tapi makanan dah order banyak? macam baik takyah invite langsung kan?

and ok2, i have to be fair to those yang memang have no choice, for watever reason, to send out invite via emails and facebooks, its not the person who sends it that im againts, its not personal, its the fact that people seems to accept this to be a normal thing. like its a totally acceptable practice where as it is suppose to just a backup thing! how in the world did we survive before the existence of Facebook?? ok jer kan?

people do take these things for granted. which is weird. its your wedding day. how can anything relating to one of the biggest event in your life be taken for granted?

ps : okey, to my friends yang did send out their invites via Facebook, i dont mean to be mean (eh). this is just how i feel okey. i still love u :p. really. and oh, congratulations on your wedding, semoga berbahagia ke anak cucu, Amin :)

may i have your hand, may i have this dance..

someone asked me why im not on nuffnang...

was tempted too, how nice to get those extra cash every month right? and even heard some people making thousands and thousands of dollars just by writing. even saw some of those thousands-dollars-making blog, some of them, they write crap! really! haha ok..ok..that was mean of me, am just being spiteful and jealous hehehe :p am happy for those folks who are able to generate such extend of extra income :) i write crap too, but i get nothing out of it nada! so salute to them!

but those people above, those who got thousands, they blog 5 - 8 times a day!! a day!! i dont think i can do that. i dont have THAT much of an opinion and my mind does not work that fast :p it took at least an hour to get one post out, even a simple one, like the one im writing now, i started at 8.30 and lo behold, an hour later and im still typing away...ok lah had to do some work in between, but there u go, i have too many distractions - like work and breakfast and two minutes gossip session with my schedulers hehe.

and i dont think i get that many readers anyway. i tend to get too emotional in my writing, and tend to get too dramatic and over the top. i know nothing about fashion or losing weight or make up.

i occasionally know a good spot to eat, give a movie or book review and can tell where to find good and halal food in half of europe and some parts of asia :) i can give you some tips on how to plan your travels and make this into a mini travel blog. but i dont do all of those, not consistently enough and certainly not enough to generate followers :p

hmm..we'll see..let me try to apply (sheesh) to nuffnang...who knows, they might reject me haha :p

its a girl thing #002

another one out of the ol' album...

gang, bila nak racing lagi ni? :p

its a girl thing #001

was browsing through old photos and found these;

hehehe its fun being a girl kan (^_^)

not an easy country...

ive been having difficulties planning for my trip to NYC.

its really not as easy as planning my trips to Europe and Asia.

usually by this time, i would have some certainty on the where i am going, where i am staying and would have booked the respective flights or trains or buses necessary.

but i found myself still trying to figure things out and no decisions can be made :(

and i havent even submitted my visa application yet!

this is so not me :(

i have even finished planning for the quick break with the family end June, and the trip with mr sun in July and even the long end year break in December!

but luckily yesterday i met someone who is finally able to assist me! and answered all my questions! yippee!

hopefully can submit my visa application this week huhu...

wish me luck!

pain

u want to know how i feel?

At this very moment, I believe no one can miss you as much as I miss you, and the feeling is extremely gigantic, enormous, massive, like- a whole galaxy that could gobble me up yet save me from Freud, and it’s insanely wide and deep as the brutal sea where the waves are so astronomical they could scratch the sky and form into a monstrous mouth with teeth to chew me slowly that I or my soul would plausibly die from missing you.

taken from here. she described it perfectly.

when you dont know...

have been thinking about this phrase "if you love someone, you should let them go, if they comes back to you, they are yours, if they didnt, then it was never meant to be"....

sometimes you meet people at the wrong time, maybe they are not ready or you are not ready, sometimes people or you have ambitions to fulfill, other promises to keep, other dreams to chase, and sometimes, painfully enough, the other person gets in the way of that.

so when do you know when to let go?

when do you say its enough?

who gets to be the one to decide?

who gets to be the bigger, wiser, maturer person to make the stand?

and finally, what if they are lost to you forever?

reality bites

A few days ago Mr Sun informed me about a mutual friend of ours who are coming back to Malaysia for her engagement and he asked if I knew anything about it.

I didn’t.

He was surprised coz he thought that me and that girl are close and assumed that she would have mentioned something. I shrugged it off saying that since I’ve been back, we haven’t contacted each other much. Not due to lack of trying, at least on my side. I tried, at least, for the first year to wish the usual birthday, eid, new year etc but getting a cold response back made me realise that the effort is wasted on someone who “clearly” does not think your friendship is worth keeping.

So I let it go.

Nothing bitter or hateful or sad about it. It’s normal. People tend to drift apart when they literally don’t need you anymore, it’s not easy to accept but that’s human nature. You can’t be best friends with everyone. But somehow Mr Sun was not quite satisfied with my answer.

So here’s the thing. My explanation.

This is something I realised when I returned from UK two years ago.

No matter how close you are to that people, once you are out of their sight, most often than not, you would be out of their minds too.

When you are together in a foreign country, you rarely have a choice on who you want to become friends with. I mean, with fellow Malaysian of course. You have the usual abundance of choices when it comes to equally foreign friends. They are, believe me, much better in keeping friendship alive because you are foreign to them too. Which is why my best friend in UK is from Peru :p but that’s another story J.

Anyway, usually the number of Malaysian in certain places are plenty like in Leeds or London and in these places, you can pick and choose who you want to hang out with. But in other smaller locations, there’s only a handful of them and they tend to be your bestest friends for the duration they or you stay there, whether you (or they) like it or not.

So for all the good times and the bad, these are your family and you would think the bond is so strong, it will forever stand the test of time and no matter which part of the world you are at, your friendship will always stay the same and live happily ever after etc etc.

Ignorantly enough, this is exactly what I thought. I’ve had several so called “best” friends when I was in UK. I thought there’s no way distance could affect our friendship. We were so close! We were the best of friends. We were soul mates. Two peas in a pod. BFF. We went through so many things together. We cried and laugh and cooked and shopped and took long road trips and were there for each other through all the ups and downs. How could this friendship not stand the test of distance? I mean after all, I went away to UK and left my besties back in Malaysia and even then we were as close as ever!

So when one by one of my “best” friends left to return to Malaysia, I continue carry on like they are still here. Calling them up or sending text messages or emails or YMs, continue the conversation, the stories and the life where it was left of.

But they are not the same person anymore. They have their families. They have their own friends. They have a new life or went back to their previous life, where you never existed. To put it simply, they have no need of the friendship which was grown out of necessity and loneliness and survival in a foreign country. Back home, you, being far far away, are easily forgotten amongst their new lives and as they pick up on their lives.

Again let me stressed, this is not a bad thing. They are not bad people. This is just human nature. So slowly, after many unreturned phone calls and unanswered emails and half hearted SMSs, you kinda know that you have to let go and move on, cos they obviously have.

In my part however, I guess I’m more gullible than most people that I really think that everything would lasts forever. And I foolishly thought that there’s something seriously off with me that people does not want to be friends with me anymore. I used cried myself to sleep thinking and analysing where did I go wrong, what did I do and was it all my fault?

Of course I grew out of this now. Took me some time but now I make efforts where efforts are appreciated and are happy and content with the small and manageable group of long AND short distance good friends.

To maintain the friendship, it has to be a two way thing and it has to be constant and it has to be sincere.

Not when you called me only to ask me to get something for you at the next Boxing Day sale.

Not when you emailed me a forwarded Happy Eid wish AFTER the first day of Eid, like an after thought on your part.

Not when the only time I hear from you is because you were not able to get through another friend/sister/boyfriend/girlfriend.

Not when I only get one message from you on New Year.

Not when you be nice just because you needed a place to stay.

Not when you ask me how I am only because you wanted to ask for my help.

See the differences? Of course this doesnt happened to everyone. Sometimes you might just be lucky enough to find an actual soul mate or a true best friend!

Ok, reading back on what ive written, it sounded more, um, sad, than I wanted it to be...But truly its not. To this day, I've always thought the bunch of Malaysians I met in Plymouth/UK was the best, most wonderful fantastic bunch of people ever! And my life there would not have been as great and as perfect without them, and I can happily confirmed that I still maintain friendship with well, almost most of them, regardless of where they are (^_^). And with those that I did not, it doesnt mean their friendship meant nothing to me while we were together, it is something I will always always treasure and something that I will always be thankful for and I'm sure they feel the same :p Maybe one day we will be great friends again, but till then.... :)

So there, that’s my two cents worth :p

great things comes in threes?

today has been a wonderful day :)

first - as per post below.

second - approval from Line Manager on my future in this company.

third - approval from GM Malaysia on my future in this company.

(^_^)

im so excited!

ok, tetiba extra rajin nak buat kerja hari nie :)

tee heee :p

saya meeting the whole morning.

balik kat my office room, ada package atas meja.

kotak warna merah, tulis Air Mail from Royal Mail United Kingdom.

wah! terus melompat gumbira kat situ! (^_^)!! :) nasib baik takde orang tengok hahaha

package dari mr sun from UK! :p :p :p

belum buka lagi, sebab hari ni sangat sangat busy and office sangat sangat ramai orang, nanti ada yang menyebok saje hehe :p

hari nie mesti satu hari tersengeh2 jer kat office, mesti my boss ingat i dah sewel hahaha :p

tak sabar nak balik rumah!

hari ni nak balik awal lah hehe :p

breakfast yang sihat?

Semua orang cakap oats tu baik untuk kesihatan.

Boleh reduce cholesterol (betul ke spelling nie ?) level.

Even my mr sun, after he got the shock of his life when his cholesterol level is so high (tu la, lamb kat Nawruz tuu :p) started eating oats for breakfast. Makanan ayam he said hehe :p

My dad likes it too, but he cooks it instead. Buat soup la bagai. Ok lah, bukan dia yang masak, my mom yang buat, but that’s the only way he would eat it.

I’ve never tried it before, cos i know, you have to eat it with milk kan? And im lactose intolerant :( also, my cholesterol level is not high (surprise surprise) iyer, thanks to the fact that i dont like to eat meat and i eat lamb like, once a year :p

But few days ago, i went to cold storage and bought these;

Just add hot water!

Havent tried it yet, nanti will update when i do. Even though they say just add water, i could smell the milk that is already incorporated (cewah) into the oats. This is either gonna be a good breakfast OR will make me throw up every hour. Ok2, sorry2, agak keji bercerita about that so early in the morning hehehe :p

Actually dah seminggu dalam my office drawer :p ok2, will try it today..later.......wish me luck!

ps: just realised how bored i must be in the office to blog about breakfast!! sheeshhh! if one of these days i become one of those peeps who amik gambar in dressing rooms while trying on clothes and BLOG about it, please slap me. hard. terima kasih.

what's somebody like you, doin' in a place like this? :p

i took the train to work today.

a BIG achievement for me :)

im sure most of you have read about my long struggles and pains and battles about the parking issue at my office (to refresh yr memory, click here).

last february, i moved into the parking lot in the building adjacent to ours, but instead of paying the full deposit-under-the-table amount, i just paid the one month deposit and the monthly, which has been increased to RM275 a month. this is thanks to my colleaque, who, because he always buys a bottle of wine for the head of mafia parking, is absolutely chummy with.

yes, i called them mafia, because that's what they are. remember when i said that you have to double park and give them yr keys because they are greedy mafias who sold more parking spaces than there are parking spaces? well, its not just that. you have to tell them IN ADVANCE if you decide to go out at any time other than after 6pm. if you dont, they will refuse, yes, REFUSE to remove the gazillions cars or ONE car that is blocking yours. too bad about if you have a life and death emergency or not, if you dont tell mafias in the morning when u entered that yr going out later, yr stuck. and they dont even tell you politely on this, they will spit and call you names to your face, in their language of course. my friends has had issues with scratched cars, missing key chains, missing stuff in the car, to name a few, and SMELLY cars, who knows what they are doing in the car, yucks (luckily i was there for just two months!)

all these angst and you pay RM275 A MONTH. for this kind of lovely service from the mafias!

several of my friends who gave up parking and dealing with the mafias at the basement, where all this are happening, decided to fork out an extra RM100 a month - BRIBERY MONEY, just to park in upper levels where the parking is EMPTY. yes, for you to get that upper status, please pay a whooping RM375 a month for the space. that close to 20 bucks per day for 20 working days!

you may wonder why people never made a complaint or any of the sort. frankly, i dont know, everyone i knew who parked at the basement have the same problems, but somehow they are just too afraid/lazy or they are just too grateful to have the parking in the first place! but i am lodging a complain soon, am in the middle of compiling the evidence. yep.

anywayyyyy, i could only stand two months of those stupid brainless mafias, and have decided for this month onward, to take the train. so i parked my car at the lrt, took the train to sentral then take the bus to office.

it was - easier and more relaxing than i expected! really!

i was pleasantly surprised :)

i got seats both on the train and on the bus. i got a parking space quite near the stairs to train platform and the stairs are good for my morning exercise :p i put on my mp3 and read my book on the train. i stop by one of the shop at sentral and bought myself a BBQ chicken pau for my breakfast (yummehhh) and all in all, as a first days goes, it went pretty well :).

yes, yes im aware that i am now bounded by the train/bus schedule but for that kind of constraints, you know much it costs me permonth? RM120 per month! AND i reduce my fuel and my tol, usually my fuel to work back and forth plus tol is about RM250 a month, lets say i cut half of that, im actually SAVINGS! the money i put aside for fuel and the parking space every month will now go into my new york and uk trip funds :p yeay! more shopping for me hihi :p

so to my dearies out there, last minute dinner/meet up plans can only be held at either (a) a location where i can take LRT to or (b) in pj area so that i can go home and get my car first or (c) u come and pick me up and send me home okie :p

cant wait for when "you" come home in July, and i get to have my driver again for three months! (^_^) i will pay you with love, hugs and kisses, ok tak? hehehe :p ish, tak leh, haram2.....hhmm, haa, ok2, belanja makan tomyam+ikan siakap steam+kailan ikan masin+ayam goreng kunyit+ sambal belacan okehh! (^_^)

ok2 last2 bit to my long post (hehe), i need to get the following;
1. a light and powerful torchlight - in case i got home too late at night, and i have to walk far to my car - it can get quite dark if i park too far from the station.
2. a light foldable umbrella to dump in my bag.
3. pepper spray or tasser - for emergencies
4. need to modify one of my big bags to slings, easier nak handle if i need to bring my laptop home
5. new walking shoes - ni tak la perlu sangat but with all those money im savings, surely i can spare a few buckaroos for a new pair shoes hehe :p

*Annie, if yr reading this, jom McDonalds breakfast one of these mornings hehe :p

some people takes things wayyyyy too seriously :p

Just got the latest news on the story below.

The diva blogger has gone to the lawyers – siap nak saman bagai and has given notice of demand to my blogger friend.

Sheesh..this thing has gone way out of proportion! I mean, benda macamnie pun nak masuk court semua ke? U’d think the court have all the time in world to layan cases like this?

But apa2 pun, its a good Monday morning gossip issint it? Hehehehe :p

Will keep you updated (^_^)

 

Happy Monday, folks!